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old people

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genuine anarchists, do not care who they offend with what they say, and say absolutely mad things.

One who im around frequently, who shall remain un named, frequently refers to disabled people as "invalids"

And in front of company has described particularly dark colours using the term "nigger black"

Aged 73.... but by heck you dont whether to cringe or admire them.

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hope you hit him.

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I was in the pub last Friday in the company of this oul fella, 89 years old real dapper oul guy was a WW2 bomber pilot.
There was a lull in the conversation and apropos of nothing he says 'Someone once asked me if I smoked after sex, I told him I dont know, I never looked'

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Some of the stories mentioned just sound like melters who are old. Not normal old people. Melters live to great ages these days.

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my associates grandad in hospital...

nurse "right sir, doctor nasaheema will be along to see you shortly"

grandad " flip me if you'd told me that Id have brought me cricket gear"

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old people should be shot at birth.

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My granny whos lost it in recent years keeps asking If I'm married yet when I say no she says you must be near 30 now, you've been left on the shelf love -
Lovely

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I only heard my Granny get angry once. It was something about a robbery in Killyleagh and she harrumphed the way only a tiny wee old woman can and said "Sure they'll blame that on the Fenians too!"

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My friend has been seeing a Chinese doctor and he made a comment that he had only ever met one person of that name.. She said I bet you he fixed your car.. He was surprised and said yes! Turns out it was he granda.
So off she goes and tells her g pa, never guess what, my doctor remembers you from back in the day. He asked his name and said 'ach love, how would I remember him.. I've met so many ching chong china men in my day'
He's in his 80s.. I'm in a wrinkle every time I think of it lol

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A guy writing to complain against fox hunting bill in NI

"If you people had your way, NI would be like London - where the Gays walk the streets"

(no age supplied however)

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my da was going on about the chinese setting up weed farms in fermanagh in places like 5 mile town, everyone knows theyre at it. was all aye dad.

next thing its on the news, load of weed farms busted in fermanagh.

Dad - "Theyve some work ethic though the same boys"

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LOL

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old woman in McDonalds last week, said to the wee girl with her, at a volume the target of her insult could hear:

"Go ask that hefty girl if we can sit at her table".

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My granda was from down rojn the borders of fermanagh they wer comin up to visit us one night and got stopped at an army checkpoint near derry,a black soldier asked him where he was travelling from and too, and commented your far away from home tonight, my granda replied.. Not as far as you

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lol, jesus christ

"and i take it you've been sneaking away at the chips too, eh?"

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A old woman came into my work last month and said to the girl serving her, "your an awful fat girl, i take it you dont walk to work"? The poor girl was in tears

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mates family werein the US when he was a kid. Cab driver was driving them along telling them about the place, mentioned the cobble stone streets they were on, mates da said 'plenty of blacks boys out diggin to make all this'

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lol@ muzka

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My granny called her dog sambo, he was jet black all over

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I know a girl who lives in London and was telling her Ma 'Ma, I'm going out with someone whos a bit older than me'....'Sure thats alright love'....'And hes black'...'Oh right, is it Trevor McDonald?'.

I'm sure the guy has a real name but to me he will always be known as Trevor McDonald.

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My granny once remarked on how well the blacks had done for themselves after all they'd been through. May she RIP...

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worked with a aul fella who was a fucking superstar when it came to not giving a fuck what he said, on one job we had an indian fella born and bred in Sarf Landan man so i brought him over to the foreman for introductions who upon seeing him blurts out "what the fuck do we need with a bus conductor on site" to which the indian fella replied with somit along the lines of "thats so funny i almost forgot you where fat", ice well and truly broke and he fitted well in..

another time i was working with an iraqi engineer brought him over for introductions, same foreman yells out across the site "ask mohammed does he have an scuds in his garage"... and later on he got his wee brother a job as a help to which his site nickname was Mohammed the Taig.. given by said foreman

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"the biggest day of your mawwers life was when she saw a black man walking up the street in madden"

Brian Morgan, 56

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Ex's granny in hospital, young fella comes up 'I'm Paul, I'm an anaesthetist'. Granny 'We'll I'm Roman Catholic, but sure we're all the same'

My own dear mother talking about kids at school said they should all be learning Chinese because all the work would be in them yellow countries soon. She's really not racist, just pretty daft.

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id be swaying more towards- male chavaunist lazy selfish pig

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Your idea of a legend is different from most peoples

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one of my dads mates now dead was an utter legend. My dad's girlfriend asked him does he take sugar in his tea, he replied "i dont know, she makes the tea" and pointed at his wife.

He refused to eat anything not english calling pasta "daego shit". His wife went into hospital once and he lived from greggs the bakers all week as he had no idea how to cook as "thats her job".

His wife laid a patio of 2x2 concrete flagstones outside their caravan. My dad said to him "are you not ashamed having her do that" he replied "ashamed? shes made a fucking superb job of that".

legend.

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My mates granda after seeing girls in skimpy skirts on tv says something along the lines of look at them sluts, no wonder they're all being raped these days.
Another girl in wrk who had been in turkey for a week, turned round and asked her how she was enjoying Cyprus.
Old people are a laugh, especially the ones closest to you.

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he was a great lad then he got diabetes and foot fell off so he had to leave work... sad day

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